My DH is finally back home to me, for good. I couldn't possibly convey here how ecstatic and relieved I am that he is home, 100% of the time to help raise our sweet girls. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried a little about DH.
You see, the truth is, his father, PAFIL actually laid him off. We weren't completely blind-sided, though. We suspected it since PAFIL was being very verbally abusive to DH and threatening him with his job on a weekly basis.
At first, PAFIL was pressuring us to purchase a home in his town, so that DH would stay. We found a few lovely homes and almost made an offer when DH suddenly got cold feet. Something just didn't feel right to him. Right about the time were ready to purchase a home, PAFIL started making comments that DH needed to take some time off to prepare for his Professional Engineering exam, an $800 exam that will give him a license to practice independently and to sign off on official forms and documents (in other words, PAFIL wants to charge a much higher rate for his work so he can make more money off of him). My DH doesn't feel that he will be ready to take the exam until later in 2012, once he's had plenty of time to prepare. After all, at that price, you don't want to have to take this one multiple times.
Did I mention that right after Christmas, when we were house-hunting, PAFIL decreased DH's salary by 42%? That is quite a large pay cut. His reasoning? He told DH that he decided he wasn't worth his pay, not until he has his Professional Engineering license. Most engineers take this exam a few years after they graduate. DH finished his degree one year ago.
After giving DH his layoff letter, PAFIL tells him "Hey buddy, don't take it personal, it's just business". A phrase that now has a particular scornfulness with my DH. He also claims that he will continue to pay for our childcare costs because he doesn't want DH to be keeping our girls and he wants him to study. Should we trust him that he will come through on his word? Doubtful. His word means nothing and he cannot be trusted. He expects DH to come back to the firm once he obtains his PE licence so that PAFIL can travel the world and leave DH in charge, at $47K annually with no benefits. No insurance, no retirement, no sick days or any paid time off of any kind. Sounds like a real deal, huh? Where can you sign me up?
My DH is somewhat broken after everything that has happened with his parents. He says he will never go back there, for anything, and I believe him. Perhaps with time and distance, he may someday be able to forgive them for everything, but for now, I am secretly enjoying not having to deal with their drama. DH says he's glad he couldn't find a job then so that he could go back to the firm and see his parents for who they really are so that he could feel confident about a clean break.
I know he is so hurt, but I can see years worth of baggage and heavy weight just lifted off of his back. He if fervently applying for another job. Let's hope he is successful!
Wishing the best for you in your job search DH, and hoping you will have peace with your parents.
- The Milky Chai Life
- This blog is written about my Indian/American culture-blended life. I am the American part of the equation and my darling hubby (DH)is the Indian (American born) part. We have two amazing and beautiful daughters who keep us constantly entertained and busy. I hope to post here about the things that I love; food, family, health, all things beautiful in this life and even a few things that are not so wonderful, like my in-laws. I refer to them as PIMIL (Psychotic Indian Mother-In-Law) and PAFIL (Passive Agressive Father-In-Law) here. There may even be an occasional posting from my DH here. Enjoy! You may also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org